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CHRISTIAN REMEMBRANCER

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CHRISTIAN REMEMBRANCER

9 minuten leestijd Arcering uitzetten

CHAPTER VII

On the Marriages of Real Christians, and Their Duties in That State

IT IS the voice of reason and religion, that piety must not be yoked with profaneness, nor the true believer with an infidel. When persons have broken through this rule, they have always done it to their own sad cost; as abundance of examples can testify.

Some have ventured upon this transgression from mere carnal motives, pretending at least to hope that they might be the instruments of bringing the other side unto God. Many instances indeed occur, where both parties have married before they knew the grace of God, and have afterwards been called by it: but the example, perhaps, is not easily to be found, where a believer, acting directly against the rule of God, for temporal ends, hath been blessed with the spiritual advantage of a partner’s conversion; but, on the contrary, hath been vexed with trouble and mortification to the end of life. It may be expected that God will be faithful to his own word, and that they who wilfully violate his order, cannot do it with confidence in his blessing.

This blessing of God is all in all; and if we have not this, whatever we have beside, it is nothing, or worse than nothing.

When the marriage-contract is made graciously, and with grace, there is every reason to hope for success. The less water of earth, and the more wine of heaven, there may be at the feast, so much the better.

After marriage, begins a life of care; and consequently the life of faith should be strengthened to bear it. It is a good way for married persons, not only to pray in the family, or privately, but together. Mutual prayers will improve mutual affections, and turn the very commonest blessings of life into spiritual mercies. If Christ dwell indeed in both their hearts, he will not only keep out disgust and variance, but subdue, or remove the causes of them.

As this state requires much and strong grace to go through it properly towards God; so it demands a larger exercise of charity, forbearance, and kindness than any other, that no duty fail between the first and dearest of neighbors, the husband and wife. These are more exposed to solicitude, trouble, and a thousand affecting circumstances, than persons in the single state: they are yoked inseparably to meet them, and inseparably must bear them. Now, if grace be not the living and conquering principle in two persons thus circumstanced, there are so many imperfections in themselves, so many unavoidable mortifications from others, and so many evils on every side, that it will be impossible for them to live, in a due degree, as they ought, above the common disquietudes which overwhelm the world. But grace in the heart will double every temporal mercy, soften every temporal misery, and lead them on, with united hands, towards the kingdom of heaven.

What a comfort is it to true Christians, truly married in grace as well as nature, to reflect, that as they are helpers of each other’s faith and joy in this world, so they shall be everlasting friends, in a more exalted way of life, in the kingdom of God! They can remain together in this state for only a very few years at the most; but there, no further separation shall ensue: being as the angels of God, they shall live with him and the whole church of the redeemed in unspeakable joy for ever. Their present union of heart and grace faintly typifies the union of themselves and of all the faithful with Christ; and, when they part here, they do not separate in the best sense, but only pass off, one perhaps after the other, to enjoy this union in everlasting perfection.

CHAPTER VIII

On the Duty of Parents

The general rule of parental duty is, to bring up children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” It is true, we cannot give them grace, but we can lead them to the means of grace: we cannot give them a new life, but we can correct the old one: we cannot make them to know Christ savingly, but we can, and we ought to nurture them diligently in the ways of Christ, and admonish them in the fear of God. Whatever we can do for them, either temporally or spiritually, we are bound to do; and when we have done all, we must leave them to the Lord. We must not repine, if we cannot mend their outward circumstances; for these are in God’s disposal: nor should we faithlessly murmur, if all our prayers and diligence be lost for their spiritual good; for, as this is a gracious gift, we only seem to attribute too much to our own powers and affections, when we unduly lament that our children have not obtained it by us. When we have prayed to God for them, we must trust God with them, and wait the issue in faith and patience. Nature will keep up our common endeavors, and grace will promote a thousand and a thousand prayers. These, when put together, will make up a good stock and foundation, and consequently no bad inheritance for them.

There is a promise of blessing to more than “the third and fourth generation” of a Christian’s offspring; which love for them, and faith in the Promiser, will ever be prompting him to sue out, that they may obtain. I had rather be a good man’s child, covered by his prayers, than the son of the first emperor of the world, undevoted and unblest.

Some that never had children, and others that would be wiser than Solomon, or rather than God’s word itself, have written books to show, that chastisements should be utterly excluded from education. Doubtless, it requires prudence and temper to chastise properly, and it ought to be done with a secret looking to God for a blessing, as well as on any other duty; but those have either taken up false principles of human nature, or have had but very little experience with it, who presume that it will do very well without the fear of punishment, or that it can be reasoned into all the irksome duties and toils of life. Such methods, we know, will not restrain even grown persons, who certainly can reason, and receive reason, better than children. Corruption is to be checked by all means; and if the gentler kinds fail of effect, as they will in the far greater part of instances, the more severe must be used, but always without passion and in moderation. It should be understood to be a parent’s sad duty, which therefore can give him no pleasure, but, on the contrary, pain and mortification. When it is thus performed, it will not easily be abused; when otherwise, it is not really performed at all. The parent’s ill conduct, in such a case, deserves a severer chastisement from God, than any that can be done to the misdemeanor of a child.

CHAPTER IX

On the Duty of Children

These are “to obey their parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Till children have learned obedience, they have properly learned nothing, and will probably be fit for nothing.

As they owe to their parents, under God, their maintenance, protection, introduction to the duties of life, and their very life itself, God hath laid it upon them, as what is necessary in the order of his providence, to honor and respect their parents. Children, who transgress this order, rebel against God. And it hath been a matter of great concern to many gracious persons, after they have been brought to a true sense of things, that they have failed particularly in this just and important duty.

Their obedience is to be in the Lord, and for the Lord’s sake. This is well pleasing to God, and profitable for themselves. The only exemption is, if parents are so ungracious and unjust, as to insist upon any thing which God forbids, or to oppose any thing which God commands. Here the most dutiful children must disobey, and can plead God’s own absolution for their conduct.

There is one great circumstance in life, which often strains the bond of filial duty. This is marriage. Children ought, if possible, to engage in this state with the full blessing and consent of their parents. On the other hand, parents should never constrain, and not always restrain, the affections of their children.

The two trying cases are fortune and religion.

As to the former, the discretion of parents is usually of great importance. Children are not to follow their passions into ruin; nor is it the duty of their parents to consent to it. On the other hand, mere lucre should not guide the parent’s eye or mind, but the nobler considerations of character, worth, and piety. Where these are wanting, all the wealth in the world is little better than a gilded curse.

As to religion, the unalterable rule for Christions is, to “marry in the Lord.” If a parent direct otherwise, the command of God must first be regarded; and though he may have a right to put a negative perhaps upon almost any match; he cannot have a right to command one which is contrary to the express word of God. He likewise hath not a right to sacrifice his child’s natural affections in any marriage, even where no objections can be made upon a religious account; because the peace and comfort of natural life are concerned, and because the child must be the sufferer here, and be exposed in the event to some dangerous temptations. On the other hand, (to put the last difficult case,) where the child hath placed affections, in a manner that religion and all other circumstances will justify, but, because of religion, the parents withholds consent; it will be the best to try all means to gain that consent, to wait as long as possible, and with as much patience as possible for it; above all, to supplicate the Father of mercies to dispose the hearts of the parties concerned aright, and not at last to venture on an act of such apparent disobedience, but for fear of greater evils than what may arise from the unreasonable obstinacy, perverse-ness, or irreligion of the parent. The case is so nice, and may so vary in its circumstances, that the wisdom, uprightness, grace, and impartiality of the ablest Christian friends should be well consulted upon the occasion.

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Bekijk de hele uitgave van zaterdag 1 april 1944

The Banner of Truth | 16 Pagina's

CHRISTIAN REMEMBRANCER

Bekijk de hele uitgave van zaterdag 1 april 1944

The Banner of Truth | 16 Pagina's