FOLLOW AFTER

Part I

Years ago at a gathering, I heard a tried and experienced child of God say: “My watch always runs fast”. And when he said that, there was no smile on his face, but I saw tears in his eyes. I have never forgotten that expression. The man who said that is above all strife for a few years already, but those are expressions, which are called foolish in our days, but they are impressed and imprinted, and we must experience them later on in our life, as never before. It is really a similar expression as that of a deceased minister who said: “The devil teaches us to figure, but God teaches His people to follow after.” We continually want to go before. Abraham, the father of all the faithful, also had to learn that; neither did Rebekah understand anything of it at first. When Moses was 40 years old he also rushed matters too much, thinking that his brothers would understand that God was going to deliver them by his hand, but they understood it not. And then having been so hasty, he was sent to Midian, to sit by the sheep for forty years. All his zeal must have been quenched, all his courage sank away. And when it was God’s time he sought all kinds of excuses to be relieved of the task.

What is man? We just figure things out and dictate to God. We always lay out our own path. But the Lord says: “And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not, I will lead them in paths that they have not known.” We must become blind.

With our mind we say: is that now the way? for we do not want to become blind. We always want to see it ourselves. We don’t want to be dependent. Oh, how man resists and how great the enmity is. Yea, the Lord opens ways for us, and we must experience that our whole existence is nothing but enmity against God. But our calculations are always wrong, God will time and again strike them out and then we are weary because of murders. Neither is the enemy quiet. He is after us twenty-four hours of the day and often God hides Himself. Then we have a heart filled with enmity and are not able to be one with God. Sometimes there is still a faint sigh, to bow under the mighty hand of God, but that is so seldom. My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God. Submission alone gives rest, but if that is lacking then there is unrest. Sometimes they say, “Lord, wilt Thou teach me to follow after?” When Peter was restored again in his office, the Lord Jesus said unto him in John 21: “Follow Me.” But of what a short duration it was, that he might do it. The next moment he looked at John again instead of at Christ. Then he wants to know what will happen to that man. We would say he surely had learned well enough, not to concern himself about others. But time and again we fall into the same thing. We are such insusceptible creatures to learn anything, and still more so to unlearn something, so that there is not much advancement. And while I sit here writing, not copying out of a book, oh no. The Lord knows. I hear some say: What wretched people and what a miserable life. Oh friends, it still has wondrously gladdened my heart that the poet sings:

“Thou O God, hast prepared of
Thy goodness for the poor.”

And a miserable life? What shall I say about that? For ourselves it usually is, yet Bunyan wrote: “When I see the footsteps of the old pilgrims, then I take courage.” The Lord has left behind an afflicted and poor people, but who will still trust in the name of the Lord. There are still people, who by grace know where they can go; a people who can never be satisfied with their dissatisfaction. A people who reject themselves, who can find no rest in their misery, but are watching for what they read in Job 36:15: “He delivereth the poor in his affliction.” They are a people who would not exchange with all those happy and cheerful people of our day; for there are no bands in their death, they know of no strife, and never have any sorrow in their souls, who with an imaginary heaven go to hell. God, will, and shall do wonders at His time for those people who are in themselves wretched. He ever will maintain their right. It will be a surprise for a people who can no more be surprised.

Oh, how that blessed Surety and Mediator has cried out in Ps. 69:29: “But I am poor and sorrowful: Let Thy salvation, O God, set my soul on high.” He was not rebellious, but became obedient unto death, yea, even unto the death of the cross. He has atoned for sin, for all the sins of His people; for all their rebellion and resistance. Christ has merited for His people that they may deny themselves, take up their cross and follow Him through evil report and good report. It was meet for Christ to do the will of Him who sent Him. He prayed thrice in the garden of Gethsemane: “Not My will, but Thy will be done.” Our old nature is corrupt; it never wills what God wills; but the new creature that is created after God, cannot sin and desires nothing else but to follow the Lamb whithersoever He goeth. That new life wrought by the Holy Spirit is one with God’s will and way. That says yea and Amen to the crucifixion and mortification of the old man of sin, with all its lusts and desires. Those people no longer pray for and towards themselves, but learn to pray against themselves. Yes, there are moments in their life that they humbly acknowledge the Lord, that He did not give them what they so gladly would have had. Then they have been brought into the sanctuary with Asaph and have become a great beast before God. Then they no longer desire to rule, but then it becomes a reason of joy that the Lord reigns and that He is clothed with majesty.

Then they can follow, will follow and may follow. Then their will is consumed in the will of God. Then they believe that all that God does is well done. Then with a humble heart they will admit their foolishness. Then the Lord has taken the reins out of their hands, and they lay them in the hands of the Lord. Blessed moments to experience. Then everything lies in bands, and because God has taken over, they can also give it over. Those are moments when they are conquered by love. Then they are glad that God is stronger than they. Then they would cry out by day and by night:

Who is there like to Thee,
throughout this vast creation,
Jehovah, Lord of hosts,
the God of our salvation.
Arrayed like Thee with power
and faithfulness astounding,
Constraining saints to praise
Thy wondrous grace abounding?

(Psalm 89) Psalter 422:4

But now in the further experience of their life, they become aware, that for each new way, new grace is needed. When God places them before new ways, then they cannot help themselves with what they have previously received. They remain dependent upon the influences and the ministration of the Spirit. Therefore this prayer remains necessary, “Thy Spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.” We need prevenient, accompanying and following grace. Strife and prayer will be needed unto the end. Until they can say: “God is the strength and portion of my heart, my God eternally.”

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