THE WIFE OF PILATE

Part II

It even happened once in Tholen, that after a Monday evening service on Isaiah 14:32, we were together till 12 o’clock at night, that one of them was so full of what was declared in his soul that evening (later the Rev. W. Baay) that he asked me to take a walk with him. The moon shone so clear that night, so that we with another friend, took a walk of two hours, with the three of us, speaking from heart to heart about the ways and dealings of the Lord. But where is that life in our days? Then man did not stand in the center. Then as Rev. Fraanje once said after a gathering of ministers at Rotterdam, we saw more than just the buttons of our coats. Then we could look into each others hearts. But let me not enlarge further upon it for this time.

Paul wrote, “What mean ye to weep and break my heart?” It is true, in those days it wasn’t perfect either; it was not always to the honor of God, but it was different then, than now. It is more than 45 years ago that the minister who was at that gathering told me this, and it has always remained with me so that I received a little desire to write about it. May it be of some benefit. We need not look at others to find the cause why, in general, there is so little fruit under the ministration of God’s Word. We read in Isaiah 59:2, “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hid His face from you, so that He will not hear.”

And if there is any fruit then it is usually gone before the church leaves. We read of that in Jeremiah 14:8, “Why shouldest thou be as a stranger in the land, and as a wayfaring man that turneth aside to tarry for a night?” With the clean beast may we chew the truth again, for that has also become a rarity. The world has taken such a large place in the heart and mind that there is almost no time or place anymore for God and for His Word.

In 1943 I sat at the death bed of an unforgettable friend, who in her life had something of that hidden life with God. She testified on her death bed that her soul greatly rejoiced that the end of her life here upon earth was near, delivered from sin, and soon to be with the Lord forever. She said, “It will become so distressing in the world, and so empty in the church, that you will not know where to go.” And indeed, the number of the pious whereof we read in Psalm 12 is continually becoming smaller in the visible church. And among those that are still to be found here and there, the former life has become so poor; so little exercise of faith, so that each just lives his own life; no discoverings and therefore no manifestation. In general, so little happens because it does not come to a halt within. Sometimes there is still a necessity, but no real need, as we find in Isaiah 38 in the life of that devout King Hezekiah. But the Lord will never be a wilderness, nor a land of darkness for His people. He will never withdraw His hand of grace from His people, but still in general there is so little fruit. Place must be made for it. And it is only God the Holy Spirit Who can make place.

And indeed, when the Lord gives something, then the sky is again dark with fowls to pick it away. And the worst of it is, we ourselves make so many fowls. If we would be made honest, then we would be ashamed and blush with shame about ourselves. And what is so unfortunate, if we are not on our right place, then we always blame someone else. Only when the dear Being arrests us and makes us guilty, then we truly become debtors before God, then we will accept the guilt as we read of David in Psalm 51. O that we might be privileged thereto, each one for himself. Humbled in the dust, guilty before the face of the Lord, there we will and can meet each other and there the Lord will not leave Himself without witness. But when that is missing, then we will do nothing but cast stones upon each other, and busy ourselves with things that have no meaning for eternity. Then we will condemn and destroy each other as we read in Zachariah 11:9, “And let the rest eat everyone the flesh of another.”

When it concerns the honor of God and the basis of salvation; when we are assaulted and undermined, let us then ask the Lord for grace to stand firm and be willing to give ourselves, even though they would put us in a pit, and as with Jeremiah, we would sink in the mire. Then the faithful covenant God will not leave Himself without witness. Then it will also be confirmed;”when a man’s ways please the Lord, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.” O that the Lord would keep us (we lie open for all kinds of misery) so that we will not strain at the gnat, and swallow the camel. In our life we become aware that our own “I” plays such a great part in us, that we think more of ourselves than that we are concerned about the honor of God.

The principle thing for each person should be: How shall God receive His honor, and how shall I ever come into a reconciled relationship with God? And, of course, if that oppresses a person, then it becomes a personal matter. Not indifferent in respect to our neighbor, but then there is no more rest until our restless heart may find rest in God, as the Patriarch Augustine once expressed.

Oh, how much time is spent in vanity and trifled away in a sinful way. Yea, unto dishonor of God and to the detriment of our own soul, when at gatherings we build each other up in all kinds of unscriptural things that cannot stand the test of the Word of God. In all kinds of emotions, which are averse and contrary to the Word of God, which speaks of an un-movable basis, which alone is Christ Jesus and Him crucified. But we want to hear it from the mouth of God for ourselves and the Holy Spirit must seal it to our heart, that Christ is our only hope, only ground and our only comfort in life and in death.

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