Questions with Respect to the Death of Young Children

When Augustine was a boy, his prayer used to be, as he himself records: “Make me holy, O God, but not yet.” He desired to be good, but wished first to enjoy the pleasures of sin. In his sad confession he tells us what suffering and sorrows he would have been spared if he had listened to the calling of the Lord when he was young. We wish that our young people would take this to heart, because so many times they wish the same: first the pleasures of this life, and then later on we can be converted. Time and again we are confronted with the opposite reality. The Lord warns: Today, when you hear My voice, harden not yourself.

The happiest people in this world are those who serve the Lord from their youth. When they may grow up, not only in years, but also in knowledge and love of the Lord, they will testify that the service of the Lord is more precious than anything else.

Blessed are the parents who may have children that fear the Lord and are not unruly. So many times it is different for the parents. They are sighing because their children act in a way which is against God’s Word. Must this also be said of you, young people? There will come a time it will give you sorrow, either in this life or in eternity.

But not all parents have the privilege of keeping children until they are grown. Time and again we experience that also young children can be taken away by death. Families that have experienced this, know whereof I speak; time and again those wounds are torn open and many tears are wept over the loss of their child.

Rev. A.M. Den Boer is pastor of the Netherlands Reformed Congregation of Sioux Center, Iowa.

This subject of children dying young has always given many questions, and therefore we will try to find some answers on the ground of God’s Word, but also in what our forefathers have written about this complex subject.

Especially that which is written in the Canons of Dordt asks our attention, namely, Head 1, article 17, where is spoken about children who die in childhood. In the beginning it says in this article: Since we are to judge of the will of God from his Word. Man has formed all kinds of opinions concerning this. We will mention a few.

Some say that all children who die early in life go to heaven, whether of Christian or heathen background. Others do not go so far, and limit it to baptized children. The first start from the principle that those children did not sin and therefore are not guilty, so they must go to heaven. This reasoning is not Scriptural. When a child may grow up, then it shows clearly what kind of nature it has: a sinful nature.

A child is not born innocent, being able to choose for himself good or evil. If this were true, little children could not die, because death is the consequence of sin. In Adam, we are all worthy of death before God. By one man sin came in this world and by sin, death. This has come to all people without exception.

Suppose for a moment, that all children who died in childhood went to heaven. Then we must wish that all died in childhood, because when they may grow up, we see many go on the broad way to destruction. That, alas, is reality.

Others limit salvation to children who are baptized. But we all know that the sacrament cannot bring grace. Not the baptism with water, but with the Spirit is decisive: Except a man is born again, he will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

But is baptism not a sign and a seal of the Covenant? We may not deny this, but there is an external and an internal relation with the Covenant. The question is: Are we incorporated in the Covenant or not? We know how Paul warned in I Corinthians 10 that all Israel was baptized by the sea and the cloud. But in most of them the Lord had no saving pleasure. So the water of baptism is no surety for salvation.

What did our fathers say about this subject? We have to remember that the death of young children was one of the points which the Remonstrants used to condemn our Reformed fathers. They said of them: The Reformed condemn all children that die in infancy. This slander is disproved in this article. Since the deepest ground of salvation is God’s eternal pleasure and election, which excludes everything of us, this means there is also hope for little children.

God’s Word gives the examples of the child of David and of Jeroboam. There is no doubt about the eternal destination of these two children. But this does not prove that all children who die in infancy are saved.

Only those children who are incorporated in the Covenant of Grace by regeneration will be saved because election is in Christ. Since salvation does not depend on the exercise of faith, the Holy Spirit can work imme-diately in the heart of children and make them partakers of eternal salvation, although the sin of Adam is also imputed to them.

Canons of Dordt, Head 1, Article 17: Since we are to judge the will of God from His Word, which testifies that the children of believers are holy, not by nature, but in virtue of the covenant of grace, in which they, together with the parents, are comprehended, godly parents have no reason to doubt of the election and salvation of their children, whom it pleaseth God to call out of this life in their infancy.

A point that often causes confusion in this article is that it says that believers and godly parents do not have to doubt the election of their children. We must be careful not to make a wrong interpretation of this. Why are the children of believers, as it were, set aside from the others? Unbelieving parents do not care about these things, but believing parents know of wrestlings at the throne of grace for their children. The question of the eternal destination is of the greatest importance to them. So this is not the ground that the children will be saved. Still God’s Word has spoken of the privilege to have believing parents, but it does not say that all children of believing parents are saved. The Lord made a Covenant with Abraham and his seed. In Acts 2, Peter states: “The promise is unto you and your children.” Paul says in I Corinthians 7: “The unbelieving husband is sanctified by his wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by her husband; else were your children unclean. But now are they holy.” The Catechism says: “The children as well as the adults, are included in the covenant and the church of God.” Article 34 of the Confession of Faith is written similarly.

We have to say that “holy” means to be set apart from the world. So this article speaks of the great privilege to have an external bond with the Covenant of Grace, but incorporation in the Covenant is necessary to salvation.

It has never been the intention of our fathers to say that all children of believing parents, who die in their childhood, will go to heaven. In this article, election and salvation of children is dealt with as an answer to the Remonstrants; it states also there is a rejection of children, which you can find in the answers of the different delegates to the Synod of Dordt. Think only of the difference between Esau and Jacob, two children of God-fearing parents, but Esau hardened his heart. How terrible will it be when we have had Godfearing parents and still go our own way to destruction. The judgment will be heaviest for them that have known the way but did not listen to the warnings.

We realize that all questions are not solved with what we have written in this short article, but it gives you an idea what God’s Word and our fathers say about this difficult subject.

I am sure some readers will say: I was looking for an answer where my beloved child is in eternity and I did not get the answer.

As there is an election to salvation, so there is also a place of woe, for adults and for children. We must warn against too much curiosity, when the Lord has hidden certain things from us. We may not force the Lord to give an answer to our question, although it can be a matter of much concern.

I have heard parents who lost a child in an accident; suddenly it became eternity. The Lord did not give an answer on the supplication of that mother, who was a God-fearing woman, but she continued to ask day and night. She could not give it over, and so it stayed, until the Lord gave an answer. And what was it? “And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever” (Rev. 14:11a). This was such a shock for this mother because she had learned by the grace of God what it means to be separated from the Lord for ever and ever. And now that thought that her dear child was in that place of eternal woe was nearly too much. It can be different, too. There are examples that the Lord gives light in such cases. Most ministers have some experience also in these cases. A funeral of a child is always more moving than that of a person who has reached full age; nevertheless, there is always sorrow.

I experienced once in one of our congregations, that a child was born with an incurable disease. After ten days the child had to go to the hospital already and it came home only once for a few days before it died at the age of fifteen months.

During the sickness of this child, the Lord gave much prayer for it, and also opening in prayer that the Lord would remember the child. In the beginning it was much related with temporal welfare, but it seemed that the Lord cut that off more and more: the things of eternity are of greater value. At times I could believe that this child was one of those chosen children to be always with the Lord.

The time of the funeral came which was only with the parents and the grandparents in the home, as was customary. But the Lord closed, and who will then open? Discouraged, I went to the cemetery, hoping that the Lord would give freedom there; many family members and friends were there, but again I had no freedom to say anything except that the Lord is righteous in all His ways.

Confused, I went back to the family. In my confusion I read the wrong chapter out of the Bible; immediately, when I began to read, the Lord applied these words, “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” (Ps. 91:1), which granted freedom to believe that He had made all things well, for He chooses from eternity. Oh, that wonder was so great that the Lord would yet give a testimony of His work! Here it became reality: “my grief is turned to gladness.”

Many of God’s people, as I heard later on, also had a well-grounded hope for that child. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall the matter be established.

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