Family Discipline

Some time ago I was in a home when father asked his little child to shut the door. The response was, "I don't want to!"

"Then poor Dad will have to shut the door himself," said father.

"I don't care; I just don't feel like it."

And I saw "poor Dad" get up and shut the door. Uncontrolled at six. A delinquent at 16?

I must confess to an immediate urge to have that child for about fifteen minutes, but more sober reflection brought the realization that it was really the father who needed the discipline.

One of the most dangerous signs of the times is the deterioration of home life, causing a growing disrespect of children for parents and others in authority. In 2 Timothy 3 the apostle Paul, in describing the last days, accurately tells us where we are now.

The longer I live, and the more I see of the joys and sorrows, the successes and failures of this life, the more I'm convinced that the home problem is the greatest one which exists today. The home is the center of everything! Whether humble or pretentious, the home provides greater possibilities for joy or sorrow than all the rest of the world. The downfall of every character can be traced to some defect in the home life, while the loveliest picture earth furnishes is a family going on together, on their way to heaven. We step from the portals of our home into the social, moral and civil world. What we are in the home will be what we are in all fields of life.

When Cod Himself would found a nation, He made home life the deciding factor. In choosing Abraham He said of him, "He will command his children and his household after him" (Gen. 18:19). Here we have two fundamental ideas for a successful home: authority and example. Without these you cannot have a happy home, community, or nation. God's ideal nation starts with the home; with the father of the home "walking in the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment," his children and household following after him.

Anarchy is not born in the streets of New York or London. The question of obedience to law is settled in childhood. The child who does not obey his father is not likely to obey social, civil, or divine laws. When God said, "Children, obey your parents," He revealed where obedience originates.

A father and mother who had reared six Christian children, without a black sheep among them, were asked how they had done it. With a smile, the father replied, "With prayer and the rod." Two better instruments were never used! This is not meant to encourage the brutal punishment of children; but when prayerfulness and wholesome authority go hand-in-hand, obedient and godly children follow. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6).

Regarding the matter of authority, we as parents must exercise it in a Christ-like attitude of love. We have seen children driven from home by the stern and harsh application of a father's authority. Our acts of discipline must be tempered with large doses of love and understanding.

Authority alone is not sufficient, however. As noted above, a godly example is also required. Are we, as parents, exhibiting our obedience to the authorities to which we should be subject: not only the Word of God but also the civil authorities He has placed over us?

What kind of legacy are we leaving our children? Our day requires more prayer for grace and wisdom than ever before, for the needed help to bring up our children. One day soon we shall give God an account as to our stewardship of the children He has entrusted to our care.

God's ideal nation starts with the home; with the father of the home "walking in the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment," his children and household following after him.

In closing, a true story comes to mind which spoke to my own heart.

One beautiful, hot day a father took his daughter for a short hike into the foothills. As he lay down under a shady tree, his little girl ran about gathering flowers, bringing them to him, saying, "Pretty, pretty." Soon the father fell asleep, and the child wandered away. When he awoke, his first thought was, "Where is Nancy?" He shouted at the top of his voice, but all he heard was his own voice echoing back. Running up a hill, he looked vainly around. Then, he peered over a nearby cliff, and there upon the rocks and bushes below he saw the mangled body of his beloved Nancy. Ever after he accused himself of being the killer of his little child, because while he was sleeping she had wandered over the precipice.

How many fathers and mothers are now sleeping while their children wander over dangerous cliffs, and are falling into indifference and sin? How many parents (either knowingly or unconsciously) encourage their children to disrespect authority and the Word of God? Now is the time to train our children in the way they ought to go. What a tragic day it will be if we should awaken from our spiritual indifference to find that while we were sleeping, our children wandered away!

Adapted from an article in Christian Newsletter and reprinted by Young People's Magazine.

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