Influence of Family Worship on Parents (3)

The Christian husband needs to be reminded of his obligations; he cannot be reminded of them too often. The respect, the forbearance, the love which the Scriptures enjoin towards the feebler and more dependent party in the conjugal alliance, and which are the crown and glory of Christian wedlock, are never more brought into action, than when they who have plighted their faith to one another, years ago, are brought day by day to the place of prayer, and lift up a united heart at the feet of infinite mercy. As the head of every man is Christ, so the head of the woman is the man (1 Cor. 11:3). His post is responsible, and that in spirituals. He can seldom feel it more sensibly than when he falls down with the partner of his burdens at the throne of grace.

The father sees his children before him. The word which he reads to them, contains his duties to them. Whatsoever there may be of paternal affection within him, must break forth at such a moment; and the frequent repetition of such sentiments must educate the heart…. If forgetful of it at other times, he must now acknowledge and feel, at least on some occasions, that the salvation of his dependents is, to a certain extent, consigned to his care. If he can do no more, he can read God’s word to them; he can pray for them. It is not, however, the effect on the child, but the effect on the father that we are now considering. Let any reflective mind contemplate the subject, and he will be persuaded that there must be a marked and increasing difference between the parental feelings and principles of one who habitually worships Him not. It is no trifle to have religion perpetually brought to bear upon the parental relation. In the shop, the market, the field, the highway, the office, the exchange, and even in the pulpit, the father may forget that he is a father. He cannot forget it when the curtain has dropped, when the circle draws more closely around the hearth, when the wife of his youth welcomes him to prayer, and when the eyes of his little ones are fixed on him as the minister of God to their souls. I no longer marvel that Christianity becomes a dying, empty thing in the houses of those professors (alas, that there should be such!) where there is no joint worship of God.

In the rage for amassing wealth, which threatens the church among us, and especially in our great commercial cities, there is an estranging process going on, which we fear is too little observed. Such is the insane precipitation with which the man of business rushes to his morning’s task, and such the length of his absence from home, often extending till the hours of darkness, that he gradually loses some of the parental tenderness which providence keeps alive by the presence of those whom we love. The long continuance of such habits cannot fail to affect the character. Of all persons in the world, he should be most willing to take time for family devotion, who is by his very employment shut out from his home most of every day. The paternal heart demands this hour of culture. A deliberate service, in which the voices of infancy and age unite in praising God, amidst the flow of mutual affection, is a blessed means of countervailing the hard and selfish world which surrounds him. But above all does the Christian parent need something to keep him constantly in remembrance that his children have souls; that they look to him for more than their earthly support, and that there are means whereby, under God, he may be the instrument of their salvation. If, amidst the avocations of this life, he seldom finds time to deal faithfully with their souls; if he rarely conveys to them any sign of fear for their safety; if he is silent in respect to Christ and eternity; here is a daily service, of which the direct tendency will be to arouse him to these duties. Can it be possible for a man to pray earnestly for the salvation of his children, in their hearing, representing them to God in earnest supplication, as dead in trespasses and sins while at the same time, he leaves them to wonder why no syllable ever falls from his lips, on those momentous subjects? The praying parent has a daily remembrancer of these and the like obligations; and while he asks heavenly good for his household, he will sometimes cry to God for grace to fulfil them. The answer of such prayers will not be withheld. The prayer-hearing God will render him a better parent, will endow him with those peculiar gifts, for which, alas! professing parents are so slow to seek: and will cause him to discharge the obligations of this fearful station, in a better manner, to say the least, than those who hasten through life without any token of family religion.

Prayerless parents have cause to tremble. God’s anger may light upon them in their parental relation, as Eli’s neglect was visited (1 Sam. 3:13). They have no right to expect parental happiness. They place themselves and their household in the defenseless condition of the heathen. “Pour out thy fury upon the heathen, that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name” (Jer. 10:25). Family prayer invites and bespeaks the blessing of God on all concerned, but chiefly on him who leads in it. Better a roofless than a prayerless house; better beg one’s bread, with prayer, than deny God by a neglect of this chief means of domestic prosperity. One who has any genuine religious faith, and any trust in God’s promises, must be assured, that in the rearing of his household, in providing for their support and education, in governing and restraining them, and in laboring for their souls no good can ensue, but by the blessing of God: and this blessing, in the way of direction and grace, the Christian parent should join with his family in asking, every day. So doing he will be not only a better man, but a better father. He will love his children more, and more wisely. He will be doubly a parent to them, by the power and affection of a holy example.

Dr. James W. Alexander (1804–1859), eldest son of the renowned Archibald Alexander, wrote many volumes on practical Christian themes, including Plain Words to a Young Communicant (1854) and Thoughts on Preaching (1864). This article is drawn from his Thoughts on Family Worship (1847).

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