A Converted Jew (13)

A Jew’s Perplexities

My dear reader, you must know that when a Jew is called by divine grace, the conflict differs in some respects from that of a Gentile. The Jew must first fight with the fiery darts of Satan about the Messiah; Satan fights, first suggesting that He is not come and secondly, denying His deity — since the Jews deny the Trinity. This is in addition to their conflict concerning a personal interest in the Messiah. Every denomination which passes under the name of Christian believes either that Christ was a true Prophet, as the Unitarians —although they deny His divinity — or that He was God by office, as the Socinians. Others acknowledge both His deity and humanity. But the Jews deny all. This was a great part of my soul conflict.

One day I called upon Mr. Alexander who asked how I was progressing. I told him how I was tried about believing that Christ was the true Messiah. He then persuaded me to go to the Institution belonging to the London Society, where I would receive instruction and have time to read and search the Word of God. I replied I could not. When I left him, however, I began to think about it. Things which greatly distressed me began to crowd into my mind. My mind began to be tossed about like a man on a broken board on the ocean. Sometimes my family was presented before my mind. Should it come to their ears that I had forsaken the religion of my forefathers, it might almost prove to be their death. It also came to my recollection that my dear mother had told me when I was a child that she would rather die or follow me to the grave than live to see me forsake my religion. At other times, the thought of bringing an everlasting disgrace upon them was very distressing. And then again, suppose that the Christian religion should prove false? Thus I was tossed upon a sea of perplexity, first by one wave and then another. Yet under all these trials, I was enabled to cry to the Lord to teach me and lead me in the right way.

While I was musing upon these things, with grief burning like a fire within me and not knowing what to do nor which way to steer, the dear Lord was pleased to come and decide the case for me with these words: “Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father’s house” (Psa. 45:10). Especially the latter part of this verse struck me. “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up” (Psa. 27:10). Here the Lord was pleased to break the snare that the bird might escape the hand of the fowler. Oh, the mercies of a covenant God, to look upon the oppressed poor, and to hear the sighs of the needy! Being comforted by these words, and taking it to be a divine direction, I called upon Mr. Alexander and told him I would follow his advice; I would go to the institution.

The Sabbath

Here, my dear reader, I pass over many things. I was readily received into the London Society for Promoting Christianity among the Jews, but I had to struggle with other conflicts. The Jewish festivals, especially the Sabbath and Passover, were very great trials for me as I could not regard them as formerly. In this conflict, the instruction I received from the Rev. J.C. Reichardt from the New Testament proved, under the Lord’s blessing, a great comfort to me. I could then say, as the eunuch said to Philip, “How can I understand, except some man should guide me?” As the eunuch desired Philip to instruct him, so it was my desire to be instructed in the mysteries of the kingdom. My questions were many and subtle, and the Rev. J.C. Reichardt patiently and kindly answered them from the Word of God. After a few weeks of instruction from this gentleman, I commenced reading the New Testament with interest, and the Lord sanctified it to my soul. While reading, I felt a little love spring up in my soul towards the Lord Jesus Christ. I was comforted to find that through reading the New Testament, I could understand the Old Testament better. I compared them and could see the blessed harmony that exists between them.

One Friday evening, which is the commencement of the Jewish Sabbath, I felt much tried in violating that Sabbath by touching fire, as it is prohibited in the law of Moses. While thinking about the violation of the Sabbath, these words came to me: “And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the Sabbath day” (Deut 5:15). I began to consider these words. The cause of keeping the Sabbath in these words was the deliverance from Egypt, but this was done away by the Messiah in delivering sinners from a spiritual Egypt. Although this Scripture was not a complete deliverance, it afforded me a little comfort. At another time the Lord was pleased to grant me a complete deliverance by these words: “And He said unto them, The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath: therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27-28).

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