A Converted Jew (15)

Joining the Church of England

For the sake of brevity, I will leave out many things and pass on to the day I was baptized and received as a member of the Church of England. This took place on Sunday, December 24, 1837, at the Episcopal Jews Chapel, Cambridge Heath, London, by the Rev. J.P. Cartwright. My godfathers were the Rev. M.S. Alexander, the gentleman with whom I had the first interview about Christianity, and Mr. Saul, whose name I before mentioned, while Mrs. Alexander officiated as godmother. On this day I was presented by the Rev. J.P. Cartwright with a prayer book of the Church of England, in Hebrew, and a hymn book in Hebrew and German which I still have in my possession. It is customary for a Jew, when he is baptized to take another name, which I did, taking the name Edward. In doing so, I have followed the example of the rest of my brethren, although I really do not know the reason behind the custom.

This day proved an unhappy day to my soul as Satan came with another temptation. The Jews believe that there is no pardon for those who confess publicly that Jesus of Nazareth is the true Messiah and the Son of God. The enemy came with this suggestion into my soul like a mighty flood, so that it swept away all my past comforts, even the remembrance of them for a time. My soul was so inundated that I could find no standing; I felt, as it were, my hope perish from the Lord. I felt cut off from the land of the living. Only grace kept me from complete despair.

I remember the first time I went with my Jewish brethren to receive the Lord’s Supper — I felt like a criminal going to his execution. As I was stepping from my pew to go to the Lord’s Supper, these words came to me, “For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.” Each step I took added to my trouble. I received the sacrament and returned home with my brethren, keeping all these things to myself, and cursing the day I was born. I felt the just arrows of the Almighty sticking in me because of my sins, their poison killing my spirit.

These temptations brought me on the bed of affliction. Mr. Reichardt was very kind, and acted towards me as a Christian. I had a doctor who could not tell the cause of my illness; he examined me, and said my lungs and my heart were sound. It was true — I had no physical disease of heart; a spiritual disease lay in my heart. And none but the great Physician of souls could cure the disease there, and He did so in His own time. Deliverance came in the fullness of time. (Ten thousand crowns upon His dear and sacred brow!) My doctor advised me not to confine myself too much, and when able, to get out into the fresh air as much as possible. When I was somewhat better, Mr. Reichardt kindly encouraged me to do so. In this state I wrestled with the Lord for deliverance. Now and then passages from the Word of God came to me, which only afforded me momentary help. I cannot remember them; they were a sort of prelude to the Lord’s visiting me again.

Upon awakening one morning these words came to my mind with sweet power and comfort: “When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them.” This was to me like cold water to a thirsty man who travels the desert of Arabia. It was food to my soul for many days. This brought me on my knees to bless and praise His dear and precious Name.

Led More Deeply

After some time I was confirmed by the Bishop of London at a church in Newgate Street. About this time I became acquainted with a lady, a godly person and well-taught in the things of eternity, who attended the ministry of an independent minister, Mr. Hughes of Hackney.* This lady was used as a very great blessing to my soul. I felt great liberty in opening my mind to her, and as an instrument in the hand of the Lord, she administered much comfort to me. Through her I was more clearly led into the doctrines of free grace.

She invited me many times to go to hear her minister, but for a long time I refused. In hearing the gospel preached in the church, I used to feel there was something wanting, although I could not tell what. One Tuesday evening I went to hear the said Mr. Hughes. I cannot recollect his text, but the effect I well remember. He spoke of things that I had passed through, almost from the beginning of my experiences up to that time. I can remember the very expression I made use of to my friend the next day when I saw her. She enquired how I heard Mr. Hughes. I answered, “He appeared to have two candles, one in each hand, and was walking about in my heart, and telling me all that was going on there. I could say with the woman of Samaria, ‘Come, see a man who told me all things that ever I did.’”

I know that empty professors will say that this is enthusiasm, but I felt the power of it in my soul and I bless the dear Redeemer for it. People might as well try to persuade me that I am not a living creature as to tell me it was mere fancy. That sermon humbled me, produced love in my heart towards God and towards His people. My dear friend understood me well, and so will every gracious soul. This sermon was the very thing I needed.

*Thomas Hughes (1795-1872). At one time his church consisted of eight hundred members and his preaching was attended with unusual power and savor. In later years he embraced strange notions on the millennium and lost his influence among lovers of experimental truth, often preaching to only twenty people.

— ES

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