Teunis and Antje Kooimans

Teunis Kooimans and his wife, Antje, were old people. Through the grace of God they were both traveling upon the narrow way which leads to the heavenly Canaan. Many afflictions were their portion in this life, but at times they could say with David, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn Thy statutes.”

They lived in a small home at Maardyke, Holland. Teunis had just written a letter to a good friend by the name of Arie Bongerts, who had lost his dear wife by death. Teunis could not forget his old friend and sympathized with him in his great loss. Here follow a few passages from the letter:

“We can understand more or less what a heavy blow has struck you and that you are now sitting in sackcloth and ashes. What a blessing, dear friend, that it was written in the notification of her death that she passed out of this life in the hope of eternal life. This is most important and necessary, is it not so, friend Bongerts? Because according to the Word of God, the strength and life of creatures is labor and sorrow, and how soon it is cut off and then comes eternity. Oh, if death comes it shall be seen and experienced whether the Lord has made us sincere and has prepared us for our death, to then meet God in Christ Jesus. The life of your wife was an open letter, even though she did not speak very much when we were together. Did she tell you anything else before she passed out of this life? Not that I doubt her state, but I am much interested in this. We know that the people of God will not meet a strange God in death. I am anxious to know if she advanced yet another step in the way of grace. If the Spirit of God works in a poor sinner, He starts at the beginning. We would like to attend the funeral, but we have no courage nor strength to do so. I do not dare to leave Antje alone. And you know, Arie, that I already have seven crosses on my back and cannot stand such great exertion. Oh, may the Lord grant you grace to cleave in faith to the Word of God, as it is also written in the first chapter of the book of Job. Best regards....”

Teunis read the letter to his wife, Antje. She was anxious to know what he had written. When he finished reading it, she said: “Well, Teun, you did that very well. That is really a good letter for Arie. But you should also ask Arie to write a few lines in return. Ask him how things are with him now and if he is going to stay in his little home.”

Teunis shook his curly head a little and said, “Oh, Antje, do not ask me to write any more. I have really worked hard enough to get this much written. Look, the four sides are just about full. If Arie recovers a little from his sadness and sorrow, he will write us himself and let us know how things are. He will tell us about those things you mentioned; we have known each other for such a long time already.”

Teunis now stopped speaking and began to seal his letter. Antje walked to the door, saw a few boys playing marbles, and they were soon taking the letter to the post office.

Not without difficulty Antje came back into the living room, while Teunis sat in earnest meditation and reflection. Looking at his wife, he said, “Yes, it is and remains for Arie a heavy cross which he must bear in his old age. I cannot bear to think that this can also come upon us at any moment. We can never be too thankful that the Lord has spared us so long for each other.”

Antje shuffled from the room into the little kitchen, and from the table to the cupboard, and answered with a deep sigh. “Yes, Teun, we have great privileges above thousands, that is certain. Through God’s goodness we were granted the great privilege of bringing up all our children. We didn’t have to carry one to the cemetery. And they all have a reasonable income to live from and are also well-behaved children.”

“Yes, yes,” continued Kooimans, “and not one of the four has been a day without work. And in spite of all shortcomings and defects they walk in the ways of the Lord; and we in our old age can come to our end unconcerned, considering what our children do for us. Yes, yes, Antje, you have rightly said this, and they are all undeserved blessings. Oh, Antje, God’s goodness has no limit, as the psalmist says. Yes, the Lord is good to us, and what are we? Oh, we have nothing but guilt, Antje. But now we are both near to our grave. You know, Antje, although the Lord is mighty as well as faithful and certainly shall finish His work, I do wish my soul would be more lively; and perhaps it is so with you, too, Antje?”

Antje sighed heavily and deeply.

With a sad voice Kooimans continued, saying, “Oh, who knows how soon the Lord will take us home!”

With tears in her eyes Antje made some quiet resistance, saying, “Oh, Teun, I would like to stay here yet a little while — for you, and for the children, and for our grandchildren.”

“To tell you the truth, Antje, the very same thoughts are in my heart. But if the Lord calls, oh! that we may then say in faith and obedience, just as Samuel, ‘Speak, Lord, for Thy servant heareth.’ What we have said is really from self, Antje; from our flesh. That flesh wants to live here all the time, my dear wife, but could we only practice living more in unity with God’s will. Still, I hope that I may depart out of this world before you. Oh, oh, Antje, what would life be for me if I had to miss you?”

Antje straightened up her bent back as much as possible and said, “If the Lord has decreed that this shall come upon us, you would not be alone in the world, would you? If it pleases the Lord to deliver and relieve me first, you should know that He shall not leave nor forsake you. Why are you talking this way about us, Teun? The Lord has taken care of it already in advance. Did you know that, Teun? You can be at home with Teun, with William, with Adrian, with Kees, with any of our boys, just as you wish. They are all very anxious to have us, and our daughters-in-law are just as good to us. So remember, Teun, do not run before the Lord, but try to follow Him.”

With his head down, and in silence, Kooimans listened to his Antje. And she continued with an affected mind, “If I think of departing, no, I don’t know yet what I would choose today. Sometimes I think, ‘Oh, Lord, if it pleases Thee, take me first of the two of us; let it be my turn first.’ For more than fifty years we have gone through life together, and we are so bound together that I cannot but miss you in my old age, Teun. But I think, on the other hand, what a great grief it would be for you if the Lord would take me first out of the midst of you and our children. And then you, Teun, by my empty chair — who could then care for you from day to day as I have been privileged to do for so many years? Oh, what a poor drudger would you be, pining away from sadness. I can see that, Teun.”

Sobbing quietly, trying to hold back her tears, she stared at Teun in deep emotion.

“How foolishly we are talking, Antje. What are we really saying? It is becoming for us to leave all this quietly in the hands of the Lord. Then, as has happened with all other things, it will surely turn out well. The Lord is not obliged to give us anything, but how wonderfully has He directed all things during our life; and we may both know, Antje, that He in His eternal love has bestowed upon us a double blessing. You know that too, don’t you, Antje?”

“Yes,” assented Antje, “what the Lord does is always good, but that foolish ‘self comes continually to the foreground and stands between God and us, Teun. We certainly would like to choose, but we cannot and we may not choose. The Lord shall in His own time make the choice, and He can unite our will with His holy will. Come, Teun, let us eat a slice of bread.”

Kooimans turned on the light. It became dark quite early towards the last day of the year. It was now quiet in the room.

— to be continued —

The Lord is the Provider

Lord, I should own Thy tender care,
And all Thy blessings free;
The food I eat, the clothes I wear,
Are all bestowed by Thee.

’Tis Thou preservest me from deathm
And dangers every hour;
I cannot draw another breath
Unless Thou give me power.

My health, and friends, and parents dear,
To me by God are given;
I have not any blessing here,
But what is sent from heaven.

Such goodness, Lord, and constant care,
A child can never repay;
But may it be my daily prayer
To love Thee and obey.

— Young People’s Hymnal

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