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Where Is My Father?

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Where Is My Father?

7 minuten leestijd Arcering uitzetten

“Mom! Why are you crying?” Betty tried to pull her mother’s hands down, as she looked at Herman, her big brother. Couldn’t he do something about it? Mother was crying — and that was so awful, so unsettling, that the little girl started to cry, too.

“Mom, what is wrong? Can I help you?” Herman felt uncomfortable. He was the oldest, and he wanted to help, but he did not know what was happening. So, how could he help?

His mother stood up. “I can’t talk about it now,” she said. “Let’s start the chores.”

They went outside. Two other boys were just coming home. Together they fed the animals, milked the two cows, and put the horse into the barn.

“When is Dad coming home?” Herman asked.

His mother did not answer. She turned around and went back into the house. Herman frowned. Was she crying again? What was going on? And why wasn’t his father here? Last night he had not seen him either. He closed the gates and went inside. His thoughts troubled him. Something was amiss. He felt it.

They ate dinner in silence. All the children sensed that something was wrong. Sometimes they looked at the white face of their mother, but they did not ask anything.

The little ones were put to bed right after their meal. Then, when the dark shadows were creeping in, mother lit a candle and sat by the table, her hands idle in her lap.

“Herman,” she said with a choking voice, “you are the oldest. I have to talk with you.”

Her shoulders shook, and the words would hardly come out. Then she straightened her back and said, “Oh, I must talk. Listen, Herman! It is so awful that I don’t know where to begin. You know that your dad has been a priest for many years already. He serves the church faithfully and with the love of his heart. He has always lived a decent life and has never wanted to go along with those priests, who, well — there’s no sense in talking about that. I want to tell you about — our — the Pope. You know his name — Gregory. Gregory VII. A real man of God — that’s what they say —”

Her voice was bitter. Herman looked at her with big eyes. What did the Pope have to do with his father? Gregory VII was a stern man, he had heard. A few years ago, in 1073, he had become the Pope, but he lived far away in Rome, in that big city. “What — ?”

His mother went on. “The Pope thinks he knows what is right and wrong.”

Herman looked puzzled. That was true, wasn’t it? His father had always told them that the Pope was the successor of the apostle Peter. He had to rule the church, he knew everything about what was right and what was wrong, and everyone had to listen to him.

“But now —”

Herman waited.

“Now he says that priests —”

Herman put his hand on his mother’s shaking hands. “The priests may no longer be married.”

Herman listened. His mother did not speak anymore. A heavy silence reigned in the room. Herman was thinking about those words: May no longer be married? He couldn’t grasp it. His father was married, and he had been a priest for years. All the priests were married. What was wrong with that? He looked at his mother questioningly.

“Nearly all the priests are married,” he said. He could not understand it.

“Yes,” his mother said, “but the Pope says that it is no longer allowed.”

Herman gave a sigh of relief. “It’s a good thing that Father is already married.”

His mother shook her head. She telt that Herman still did not understand.

“Your father is not married anymore, either. The priests have to live alone.”

“Mom! But what about us? You — and the kids — and all the other ones?”

Slowly he began to understand his mother’s sadness and tears of the past days. Could this really be true?

Herman lay on his bed of straw in the corner of the room, but he could not sleep. How was this possible? Suddenly one man could decide such foolish things, and all those mothers and children were left alone? Now they did not have a father anymore.

Oh, how he hated that man in Rome, the Pope. A man of God? That was impossible. The Pope alone knew what was right and wrong? Herman did not believe this anymore. Then he would not make up those rules that weren’t right. A holy man? He laughed scornfully.

He did not want to go to church anymore. The monks only wanted the people’s money. Oh, yes, he had heard about those monks feasting and drinking in their monasteries. Maybe Dad did not know that he heard it, but he knew. His dad was different, oh, yes. And the other priests in their village, too, worked hard for the church. And now —”

His thoughts stopped. Angrily he wiped away a few tears. No, he did not want to cry. He had to help his mother. Poor mother!

The next day Herman came running from the village. “Mom!” His eyes shone. “Mom! I talked to Peter. His dad is not leaving. He said that the Pope is wrong. This is not the will of God, for the Lord gave every man a wife, and even the apostle Peter had a wife. And now he is staying, for he said, ‘I promised in the church to take care of them.’ Oh, Mom! Maybe Dad will come home, too!”

His mother looked at him. There was much sadness in her eyes. Slowly she shook her head.

“No, Herman. Your father wants to obey the Pope. I know that there are priests who do not want to leave their families, but they can be priests no longer. They have to make a choice. The Pope wants to be obeyed, and your dad —”

She turned around, crying.

Herman stood there, his arms hanging listlessly. Then he clenched his hands into fists. Now his last hope was gone. When he had talked to Peter, he had had some new hopes. But now he couldn’t believe it: his dad would rather be a priest than stay with them.

He went to the barn and slammed the door angrily. Oh, Dad, how could you do such a thing?

He remembered his father saying, “The Pope is a holy man of God, children. Always obey him.”

No, he couldn’t. This could not be right.

He sat on an overturned empty pail, thinking. Outside he heard his little sister laughing. She was teasing her two brothers. They were still so little, but they had already asked where Dad was. They had to know the truth, too. Poor children!

Herman stood up. He straightened his back. He was fourteen, he now was the man of the house, and he had to help his mother. Oh, yes, he would help her, as much as he could. He could already do a lot of the things his father had always done.

They were poor, he knew that. His father would no longer give them any money, but he would work hard.

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Bekijk de hele uitgave van woensdag 1 januari 1997

The Banner of Truth | 28 Pagina's

Where Is My Father?

Bekijk de hele uitgave van woensdag 1 januari 1997

The Banner of Truth | 28 Pagina's