Dr. H. F. Kohlbrugge The Language of Canaan (9)

The pilgrim has spoken about his inclination to seek in the broken covenant of works for some money to buy bread and wine. But he also knows of the blessed gifts of free grace. He may experience most of them when he has learned again that there is nothing valuable that he can offer to the Lord from his own side.

Ask-Freely asks him about his eating and drinking. The pilgrim then speaks not only of the bad taste of his old nature and of his own foolishness, but also of the provisions from his King.

The King's food

Ask-Freely: When do you enjoy His table?

Straight-Forward: I enjoy it most when I have spent all my money in the stores for bread, and I find that, when I want to eat it, it appears to be a stone. I also enjoy His table when I have wandered through the whole city to still my hunger, and when, on coming home, I discover that all I obtained were unripe or rotten fruits.

It is when I have come to an end of all my own wisdom and unbelieving reasoning, and I must eat because hunger and thirst drive me to it. Then, because of my need, the longing for Him is even stronger than the desire for what He may provide. It is when I am satisfied that He has received the kingdom, and when I, like a Mephibosheth, may sit at His table in simple joy of heart. There I really enjoy the fruits that He has bought for me with such a price. And though I do not always see Him, I still recognize Him by His breaking of the bread. Then my heart goes out to Him in love, to behold Him.

Ask-Freely: What is the first thing you do when you may come thus to the table?

Straight-Forward: I do not know why it is, but it always seems as if I have a veil or a haze before my eyes. Therefore I sit down as a blind one, and He tells me what to eat and drink, and then I use it in good faith. But the first word that comes from my mouth is a request to Him for eye salve. As soon as my eyes are opened, the first thing I see is myself, and then I loathe myself. As a result, I do not ask for a whole ox, but just for a crumb. I do not ask for a full vessel, but only for a few drops. However, then there is such an abundant provision: one dish after the other, and one full cup after the other, is placed before me. The result is that I become very cheerful and filled with heavenly joy. But the more eagerly I eat, the more appetite I get, and the more I drink, the more sober I become.

Straight-Forward then speaks about the boldness he receives from this meat and drink, and about the strength it provides in his battles with his enemies. He may also speak of a special meat and drink that the King sometimes provides. His God and King Himself is the bread and wine, and he is united with Him. His chair at this table of the Lord stands in the depths of misery. It is for one who is not worthy of all these benefits, who is the chief of sinners but yet understands the “nevertheless” of faith.

The pilgrim then also speaks of the warfare with his old nature, and he complains that there is nothing good and whole in him. It is what Paul experienced, and which made him cry, “O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” However, Paul also could thank God through Jesus Christ, his Lord, for deliverance and the work of His grace; this also is not strange to this pilgrim.

His new nature

Ask-Freely: For what purpose do you have a new nature?

Straight-Forward: Oh, you know that very well. It is only because of the new nature, and not of ourselves, that we know what it is to supplicate. From this nature comes that standing afar, like the publican, so that one does not dare to lift up his eyes, smites upon his breast, and groans and sighs, “O God, be merciful to me, the sinner.” Yes, it is because of that new nature that one begins to shake and tremble, and that in distress there is a lamenting, groaning, and sighing of the soul, a fleeing to the King for grace, light, life, and freedom. From this new nature is also the receiving and embracing of the King, the seeking of Him with grief until one has found Him again. It is from that new nature that time and again one flees to His throne, condemns himself in honesty and sincerity, and agrees with his King in all that He does and in all His ways.

Ask-Freely: I understand now. Is it also from the new nature that, before the face of that great King, you acknowledge that you are but dust and ashes, and that you have nothing to say or to pretend?

Straight-Forward: Yes, indeed. The new nature is not content until the King is exalted as the sovereign Ruler, and it may bow the knees of the heart before Him. Then there will also be that loving, praising, hoping, and expecting with true confidence of heart, that He will care for them, that He is Surety for them, who cares and who will not forsake the works of His hands. Then there is the confidence that with His countenance He will go before them all the way to the city. Then there is hope, even if He would slay them. Then there is trust in all need and death.

His good works

Ask-Freely: Aha, there I see your works.

Straight-Forward: Whatever you may call it, I do not see that there is anything meritorious when I teil deadly sick people who the true Physician is. Daily I experience my own disease, but also His comfort. Should I not then call upon and exclaim or proclaim the Name of my King, or teil what He has done to my soul, or sing of Him and say that He is my King and my Supreme Good? Oh, He is the only inexhaustible, free, and open Fountain of all salvation. It cannot be found with me or with any other creature. Does it surprise you that, with all my lack and emptiness, I go where, according to the eternal, merciful laws of the city, all fullness dwells? Or that I teil this to all needy ones and invite them to go with me?

Ask-Freely: Now I understand where you get all good works.

Straight-Forward: You should understand that I receive them from His fullness. When I do not receive them from His fullness, He sends upon me a terrible man with the name of Mr. Need. Then I become so distressed that I begin to moan like a blind beggar. But this is not all. Suddenly Mrs. Humiliation grabs me, beats me down, tramples me under her feet in the mud, and leaves me there. Then an old, kind man named Help comes to me, lifts me up as well as possible, and speaks of former ways and of deliverance. However, I still cannot remain standing on my feet, and I sink down again. But then Mr. Life-out-of- Death comes, and my King comes with him. He lifts me up again, although I still feel that I cannot stand on my feet. In desperation, I hang on His neck, and I do not let Him go before I receive from Him what I need. Then everything goes so easily that the one hand does not know what the other is doing. Then I can wash the feet of the saints with joy.

Ask-Freely: Are you perfect in such circumstances?

Straight-Forward: In one sense, I am as perfect as my Father in the upper city. In another sense, I am but sinful dust, in which you can find nothing good. I wish I understood more of it. Why the Lord has taken hold of me, and what is waiting for me and lies in store for me, is beyond my understanding.

In the meantime, my Father above brings me into a workshop. There He forms my likeness as it will be on my wedding day. He tells me that, as He has promised me, I am already beginning to look like it. But I must say that I do not understand this, for I am so black, while that picture is red and white. It looks like my King. I delight in this picture, although it will never be finished as long as I am here on this road. I have heard that the last finishing touch will be applied when I may enter in.

Kohlbrugge is no stranger to the depth of corruption and iniquity of the heart. He knows the heavy strife and the foolishness of the pilgrim, and he knows that all good comes from one side. “Nothing in us and all in Him, so the church goes to Jerusalem.” The King feeds His pilgrims by His Word and the sacraments. He also gladdens them at His table. God's children have to carry the corrupt old man with them all their lives. Many times they are discouraged. Yet, there is a new nature, which loathes and condemns himself, but it also flees to his King for pardon, reconciliation, and acquittal. The new nature desires to lie at the feet of the great King, to love and praise Him, but also to trust in Him. Of that King he must speak, and he recommends Him to those whose bruise is incurable and who have no healing medicines for their disease.

The pilgrim is dependent on Christ, also for his good works. Without Him, he can do nothing. If he wanders away from Christ, he comes into great distress and will be humbled, but his King will lift him up again. He is not yet perfect, for, though there is a perfect work of grace in his life, the renewing of his nature, the work of perfection, is not yet complete. But the Lord will finish perfectly what He for them has undertaken. This is the hope of the pilgrim in the wilderness. It is his longing to serve God without sin, to see Him as He is, and to worship Him. May this longing, by grace, also be found in the hearts of us and of our children.

— to be continued —

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