Understanding Each Other (21)

Rev. P Van Ruitenburg, Chilliwack, BC

Meekness

What made that boy so difficult? He didn’t want to listen, and, usually, he did not do what was asked of him. The social worker thought that the boy was so difficult because even when he was obedient he felt he was not important. He felt like a ball being kicked to and fro. Every time he was given a task, he protested, to show that he was still in charge. According to the social worker it was a deep insecurity. Indeed, insecurity can express itself in different ways and insecurity is related to pride.

Pride

Alas, pride is not a stranger to any of us. We are all sinners, and our original sin is that we want to be as God. We want to be important, and it would feel good if everyone would bow down before us. On the other hand, we are all very different people, and pride has many faces. Even shyness can be a form of pride if it comes forth out of fear of not being found likeable enough or good enough, or out of a concern that one’s appearance is not quite right.

In married life and the upbringing of our children, pride plays a great role and is the cause of much sorrow. If we could esteem the other more excellent than ourselves, there would be so much less tension. Often family and interpersonal discord is about “vain honor”—honor that does not profit you, honor that leaves your heart cold and gives no peace. God grant us more humility; our marriages and families would profit much because of it.

Different

Let us delve a little deeper into different ways pride reveals itself:

• Through pride you feel offended very quickly.

• Through pride you repay evil for evil, or you draw back into your shell.

• It is pride to be dictator in the family.

• It is because of pride you do not want to acknowledge your husband as head of the household.

• It is pride that makes you want more attention from others than you get from your own husband or wife.

• It is pride when you do not acknowledge any guilt.

• It is pride when you always want your own way.

• It is pride when you refuse to follow directions.

• Pride makes it difficult to forgive.

• Pride makes us rebellious against God.

You can well understand that when we are troubled with pride a great deal, it can cause a fair amount of tension. It may be possible, with God’s grace, to live with such a man or woman, but it is not easy, especially when we will not readily admit that we are actually uncertain and we remain high-minded. It demands courage and grace to want to see traits of pride in oneself. In order to improve the situation I would say: Loosen up, give in more, and do not always want everything your own way. As husband and wife we must esteem the other more excellent than ourselves. As an example, I think of David who was reviled by Shimei and accepted it. You could see that David was a child of God. “...So let him curse, because the Lord hath said unto him, Curse David. Who shall then say, wherefore hast thou done so?” (2 Samuel 16:10).

“Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14&15).

Stature of a servant

It is not our inclination to be a servant; we would rather be lord and master. What a wonder it is that Christ humbled Himself as a servant. It was not robbery when He said that He was God’s Son, but still He assumed the likeness of man. He was obedient to His Father and was even so humble that He was willing to give His life for His people. God gave Him a place of honor in the hearts of His people so that they may know Him and love Him and that the feelings within them are like those in His heart. This Christ must be an example to us and when our life or our marriage is difficult, reflect then on how humble He was. The true life of a Christian is not only that one has life in his soul but also the experience of a humble life each day, so that the children may see that we look a bit like our Master. May the meditation on Him be sweet.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:5-8).

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