When Praying Doesn’t Seem to Help

Do you pray?

“Do you still pray?” The question took the young man by surprise and made him visibly nervous. He cast down his eyes and said nothing. Finally, he broke the silence and said brusquely, “No, my praying doesn’t help anyway.”

When he was younger he had prayed faithfully, but, at approximately thirteen years old, he began praying less and less. Church and the Bible did not mean much to him anymore. He and his friends drifted away from the church. Together with his friends, he lived a double life. On weekdays he attended a Christian school and on Sundays he went to church, but the remaining time was for him. He admitted that his life was a paradox, but he didn’t want to think about it. He was satisfied living his life by the day.

Two years later, I met the young man again. He was dating a girl who had a good influence on him. He had seen that the way he lived his life left him empty. He had broken with sin. This had cost him much strife, and he understood very well that a change was not conversion. With tears in his eyes, he said that it was a wonder to him that the Lord had not yet completely let him go.

Does this sound familiar? Do you pray while the world pulls at you? Do you pray while you doubt whether God actually exists? Do you pray while you really would like to break away from everything? Do you pray while it seems as though the Lord does not hear your prayers?

Why do you pray?

The Lord Jesus says in Luke 11:9, “Ask, and it shall be given you.” How can this be true when your prayers are not answered and you have already asked so often if the Lord would convert you? This text can seem to be such a contradiction to what you see around you and what you experience yourself. Is this text then not true? Look up Luke 11 for a moment. Verse eleven is about a father who gives his children bread when they ask for it. The Lord Jesus says, “Will he give him a stone?” The heavenly Father gives the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him. So this text, first of all, directs us to pray for God’s Spirit.

Praying amiss

We can see from this that what we pray for is important. Is your prayer the reciting of a wish list? Is it first of all about what you want, or is it in the first place about the Lord? Do you pray for His work in your heart? Is there a concern in your life that you have a wicked and sinful heart that is attracted to the world and sin? Do you long for an answer, or do you get up from your knees and five on calmly? Your prayer will most certainly not be answered when you pray in this way because we read in the Bible, “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss” (James 4:3a). One could compare it to an addict who asks you for money in order to buy drugs. Are you helping this person if you give him money? In connection with this, the Lord Jesus says, “Neither cast ye your pearls before swine” (Matthew 7:6b).

No answer

Praying amiss is praying in a wrong manner; there can be seven reasons why the Lord does not answer your prayer:

• Because you are focused on yourself and do not pray, “Hallowed be Thy Name.”

• Because you have your eye on your own future and do not pray, “Thy Kingdom come.”

• Because you are not in agreement with God’s will while you pray, “Thy will be done.”

• Because you find it so ordinary that you have food and drink and a job, that you are able to go to school, and that you do not depend on others to live while you pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

• Because you harbor a sin which you will not break with while you pray, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”

• Because you pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” while you seek places of temptation and cling to sin.

• Because you seek a heaven on earth and expect things from yourself and do not pray, “For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.”

For Jesus’ sake

You may say, “Then the Lord will never answer prayer because no one can pray aright.” You are correct; true prayer is impossible. One cannot break with sin in his own strength. Let this drive you to the Lord. No, don’t stop praying, because what is impossible with man is possible with God. The answering of prayer is possible for people who have to experience that they are unworthy and ungodly sinners. Do you know why? It is possible because there was One whose prayer was not answered when He prayed. As a child, you ended your prayer with “for Jesus’ sake.” For Jesus’ sake, it is true: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” For this reason, keep knocking on the door of grace.

Do you find it difficult? It really is not possible to explain. Only the Lord is able to teach you this. He is found of those who do not ask for Him. Keep praying because He is a “refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

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