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Understanding Each Other (30)

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Understanding Each Other (30)

5 minuten leestijd Arcering uitzetten

Rev. P. Van Ruitenburg, Chilliwack, BC

Family members—your enemies?

“For lam come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law” (Matthew 10:35).

Your family members can become your enemies. Perhaps they are not really your enemies, but it can be a person's experience that there is a miserable atmosphere at home because of a continual striving with each other in the voicing of criticisms and in mean remarks. That is not kind, and it can cause one to be sad or even to become depressed. The bad part is that it hardly ever comes from one side. Even if most of the time it is the same person who begins the quarrel, the other party can strike back so hard that the enmity between the family members only becomes greater. Profound differences in opinion can be very irritating. It can continue in such a manner for years.

Inevitable

We read in the above-mentioned text that sometimes religion is the cause of the strife. It may be God’s will that you are not in agreement with each other. If God, so to speak, quickens a family member from his dead state, it may increase tensions in a marriage and in a family. There comes a difference in feelings when you can no longer go to parties which before you had no difficulty attending; there may be differences about keeping the Sabbath Day, about radio and television, and many other potential conflicts. It is not easy at such a time to be more obedient to God than to man and to go against the will of the other, but sometimes this is a must. Christ has predicted, “In the world you will have tribulations,” and Christ’s work in the heart may be the reason for the tensions.

When family members become your enemies, it is very sad, but that cannot be helped at such a time. Christ taught His disciples to love their enemies, and if that refers to the general population, how much more it should be the case in family life. It is, of course, very sad if it has come to the point that family members are hostile, but that does not mean that we have to become their enemies. We must bear in mind that when Christ teaches us to love our enemies, this certainly applies when it concerns our spouse. Christ already loved His Church even when they were still enemies of God, and He came to make friends of enemies.

“For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life” (Romans 5:10).

Bless

I know examples of men who hid the shoes of their wives because they did not want them to go to church. It is not easy to respond to such actions in a controlled manner. We read in Romans 12:14, “Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.” Literally, that means that you should not allow your mood to be affected by the remarks that are made nor fight for self-honor, that you remain faithful, and that you suppress any desires to take revenge. Let us not fight among ourselves but try with meekness to win over the other and to carry the nasty criticism quietly. Bless your husband, bless your hostile wife. In other words, care for them properly; be a good husband or wife to them; do your utmost to show that you do not want to be contentious and that you really love one another.

Meekness

It can be God’s will that there is discord at home about matters of faith; in that case God has laid a cross upon us, and we must carry that courageously. Do not forget that Christ also had a difficult life here on earth and many Christians are persecuted because of their faith. The same difficulties happen also in families, even if on a smaller scale. They may be hidden from others, but God is faithful and shall not try us more than we are able to bear. In prayer we may humbly lay the tensions before the Lord, realizing that we ourselves also, as enemies, had to be reconciled with God. Have we not taken up weapons against God and severed ourselves from God? Let us not think that we are any better than our hostile husband or wife. Lastly, consider whether you also may be the cause of provoking the enmity. It could be that you are blind to your share in the misery. Take a good look at yourself; dare to examine yourself. Is there pride involved? Have we become pious imitators? Do we exaggerate things? We must obey God more than man, but we must not try to become the greatest. Christ also met with enmity, but He had never in the least given occasion thereto; with us it is different.

“Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations” (1 Peter 1:6).

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Understanding Each Other (30)

Bekijk de hele uitgave van maandag 1 juni 2009

The Banner of Truth | 24 Pagina's