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When the Almond Tree Blossoms

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When the Almond Tree Blossoms

Some thoughts regarding pastoral care amongst the elderly

8 minuten leestijd Arcering uitzetten

Rev. L. Terlouw, Barendrecht, the Netherlands

She had never been married. She had spent her last years in a nursing home. She had hardly any family. Lonely, lost in her own thoughts, she spent her days in a wheelchair. In the past she had been a hard worker. She had done much sewing to support herself.

Even when she was doing her work, she also thought about death. She had sewn her own death shroud. She had taken very few possessions with her to the nursing home. Besides her everyday clothes she had taken only her death shroud. Years ago it was customary that you had your death shroud prepared already when you were married. After your wedding day there will come a day of sorrow, a day of separation. A death shroud should be a constant reminder, “Are we prepared to die?”

Death shroud

“Nothing is more uncertain than life, and nothing is more certain than death.” This is how people express themselves when speaking about the concerns regarding death which surround us in this life. There is only one step between us and the grave. We all know this. As we become older, death comes closer. Our lifetime becomes shorter. Young people may die, but old people must die. We say that to each other, but do we live our lives with this thought in mind?

As a practical matter, death requires preparation during our lifetime. A couple may and must discuss with each other how the arrangements should be handled at the time of their dying. It is best to put these things in writing. It is not an easy subject to discuss. Frequently, emotions will be involved when you speak to each other about dying and a funeral. When it is not spoken about, however, many questions can arise at the time of death. Survivors in their time of sorrow can have things imposed upon them by friends or funeral directors of which they would later say that it should not have gone that way. Years ago, all the funerals in a village were conducted in the same manner. Today, the differences are substantial because of the secularization of our society and the promotion of individual ideas.

A consistory may be confronted with the wishes of the children of the deceased parent which are not in conformity with the Word of God. These wishes may also not always conform to the life choices of the deceased parent. Children and grandchildren may wish to be involved to a large extent in the funeral service. All types of recollections, some of them anecdotal, must be brought to the foreground. Sometimes music has to be listened to which the children and grandchildren like. Sure, there is still time for the minister, but preferably not too long and not too somber. Ten minutes should be long enough.

Because of all these developments, it is necessary to write down how one wishes the funeral and funeral service to proceed. In writing down these directions it is desirable that it be stated that all the activities surrounding the funeral be conducted in accord with the custom of the church where one is a member and that the message of the minister conducting the service both at the place of mourning and at the grave should be unencumbered. If it is the custom that a psalter is sung, then make sure that the minister conducting the service makes the choice of which psalter to sing. Such a psalter should maintain a correlation with both the circumstances and the meditation. State in your notes the desire that God’s Word will be brought forth to the conversion of sinners but also that at the time of sorrow the message of the only comfort in life and death may be proclaimed.

The death notice, the list of addresses where it should be sent, and the place where one will be buried should all be discussed before death strikes. In the Bible we have the examples of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; they carefully regulated the matters surrounding their burial. In pastoral visits it is necessary to speak about this with the members of the congregation and especially with the older members.

Wedding garment

The most important question, however, is whether we are prepared to die. Are we able to appear before the judgment seat of God? Will we, by grace, go in to the marriage supper of the Lamb? Has a wedding garment been prepared for us in the suffering and death of Christ? These are questions which we must consider daily before God’s countenance in our inner chambers. These are also questions which a husband and wife may ask of each other. These are questions which children must also ask of their parents.


Are we able to appear before the judgment seat of God? Will we, by grace, go in to the marriage supper of the Lamb? Has a wedding garment been prepared for us in the suffering and death of Christ? These are questions which we must consider daily before God’s countenance in our inner chambers.


We talk a great deal about our temporal circumstances while there is a great deal of silence about the spiritual aspects. Perhaps you will say, “I cannot say anything about that.” But, do your children also know that? Will your descendants give the minister and the consistory an angry stare because they have not placed you in heaven at the time of the funeral? Let us be equally aware that salvation is not dependent upon what man says of us after our death. It is so important that we by God’s Word and the applying power of the Holy Spirit know where our life’s journey is heading. If we may know that, then it is necessary to talk about it with our husband, our wife, and our children. God’s grace manifested in the life of a sinful person can awaken a person to jealousy. When God’s grace is revealed in a sinner, he/she also desires that blessing for others, certainly for those who are near and dear to us. Let them hear that the Lord is not a land of outer darkness. He maintains us in all our needs, and He will never forsake the work of His own hands.

How important it is that the living members of God’s Church should testify of the hope that is in them. If it is well, the tender fear of the Lord should be seen by the world around them. Speak of these things with each other within the marriage bond. Search God’s Word for instruction. Beg the Lord for His grace. Voetius also encouraged church members on their journey to the great eternity to pay attention to each other. The spiritual welfare of the members, therefore, is not only the responsibility of the consistory. Every member has a responsibility in this regard, both within the marriage bond and in the family circle and beyond.

We may and must not keep silent about God’s work at death. At such a time it does not concern the honor of the person who has passed away but the honor of God. In such and similar situations it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting. God’s Church may long after the deceased with a holy jealousy. Then, as widow or widower, you do not remain behind comfortless. You have the assurance that the departed one has made a better exchange. Just seeing the wedding garment of my beloved, however, is not sufficient for me. In remaining behind with this comfort we do not ourselves share in the “only comfort in life and in death.”

At the time of the funeral, it can also be proclaimed that this is still the day of grace, wherein the Lord can and will give grace to the greatest of sinners. Even at the approach of death, in the midst of the hardening of the hearts, He can still grant salvation and the right to that wedding garment which has been washed in the blood of the Lamb.


If you truly hate sin, you hate it whenever you see it. You hate it in the minister, you hate it in the people, you hate it in an enemy, you hate it in a friend, you hate it in a king, you hate it in a beggar, you hate it in a nation, you hate it in a church, you hate it in a family, you hate it in an individual, you hate it in others, but you hate it most in yourself.

— Anonymous

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