Understanding Each Other (49)

Rev. R Van Ruitenburg, Chilliwack, BC

Better than this life

An older man in a wheelchair came to the Lord’s Supper for the first time. This man must be fed artificially, is constantly on oxygen, and speaks and walks with great difficulty. In past years he frequently has been admitted to the hospital. Humanly speaking, what does life have to offer such a man? Not much anymore, but he was sitting at the Lord’s Supper because nothing could give him more joy and hope than God’s mercy. What a sermon; he had food for his soul! When I spoke with him a few days later, he told me about his only hope and comfort. He had nothing to complain about; God’s lovingkindness was better than this life.

Bad marriage

This man suffered much, but the same can be said of those that suffer and struggle in their marriages. Is it possible, however, to have hope and courage even when you do not have a good marriage? Yes, even a marriage which is not good can lead to seeking another joy and hope. Just as in any other adversity, such a trial can also be blessed. It can teach us that God’s love is worth more than earthly love. Suffering can lead to something that is much better than a good marriage, namely, sorrow about sin and sincere joy in God through Christ. That is the greatest possible benefit of a trial, and being able to deal with that trial could make a marriage even healthier! Then our marriage and life no longer need to be so perfect because we seek something better. Those who may experience this are not embittered and downcast but learn along with the ups and downs to radiate some love.

So who are the truly blessed ones? Those with good marriages? Not necessarily! Perhaps our marriage relationship will never improve; perhaps our family has even been torn apart. That is sad. We do not have to put away this grief, but our happiness should not depend on these outward things. In spite of these difficulties, we must seek to rejoice in a different way (Habakkuk 3:18).

“For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance” (Hebrews 10:34).

In the Lord

In addition, it is notable in Paul’s letters that we frequently hear the expression, “In the Lord.” With these few words, Paul gives the secret of a true Christian life. Paul means that life looks different in communion with Christ. The apostle also writes about marriages in the Lord! What type of marriage is that? Being in the Lord means that you do not live for your own pleasure but ask what the Lord desires of you. Do we seek such a marriage?

Double bond

It is a great privilege when husband and wife together may know the ways of the Lord. God’s children will understand each other when they feel spiritually lost, when the Word is opened, and when Christ is so precious to them. It is a double bond and joyful when we are married not only outwardly but are also united to each other in the Lord. It is beautiful when, as parents, you are united spiritually and can speak with your children, heart to heart, concerning the service of God. Nevertheless, let them also realize that you remain sinful people and that your peace should not depend upon the quality of your marriage and family life. Christ is worth more than ten sons, even more than a dear husband or wife.

“Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord” (Philemon 1:20).

“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

“And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth” (Revelation 14:13a).

A man should never be ashamed of owning he has been wrong, for it is but saying in other words that he is so much wiser today than he was yesterday.

— Martin Luther

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