Dwelling in Blest Accord (13)

Our Divine Calling

The mandate of Creation

Now the last aspect of the husband’s responsibilities requires our attention. And since it is God’s command, “that the man shall eat his bread in the sweat of his face,” therefore you are to labor diligently and faithfully in the calling wherein God hath set you, that you may maintain your household honestly, and likewise have something to give to the poor (lines 59-63).

Before the Fall, as we read in Genesis 2:15, we received the mandate to dress the earth and to keep the Creation. That is why work, as such, has no connection to sin. Adam and Eve enjoyed working in God’s good Creation to God’s honor and the welfare of their neighbor. Therefore, they fulfilled this mandate in childlike obedience.

After the Fall, the mandate to work continued but with this difference: from that moment on, the curse came upon us and upon the earth. That curse affects everything, including our daily activities. Since then, sin and the consequences of sin have profoundly affected the performing of the mandate of Creation. That is why Scripture speaks about the thorns and thistles the earth will bring forth (Genesis 3:18). These grow painfully and rampantly and cannot be eradicated from any aspect of our lives. In Genesis 3:19, the Lord speaks about the sweat of our face that will accompany our daily labor. This sweat manifests itself in many different ways. Just think about the pressures in the workplace, the requirements to meet deadlines, and especially, the stress.

Our divine calling

Despite the curse and the sweat on our face, line 61 does speak about a divine calling which we may not neglect. We still have an obligation to work. Work is not, in the first place, a human invention but a divine command. In your study or career choice, allow yourself to be guided by the talents the Lord gave you as well as by the restrictions of God’s law. Make the question of choosing a career a matter of daily prayer. Ask that you might be serviceable in whatever you do. That does not mean that it has to be in a church office but rather that you may be gainfully occupied in dependence upon the Lord and His blessing. Do not let monetary considerations, greed, or ambition dominate your career choice because you cannot expect that a blessing will accompany these things.

Bear in mind that there is an essential difference between a blessing and success. Do not assume something is a bless-ing just because everything goes well; it is a blessing when the Lord is with us. When that is the case, things are going well even though at times you may not think it is so. It certainly goes well when you may do your work in an inconspicuous place in quietness and confidence with the Lord as your strength. The most important or the greatest is not always the best. If you have important responsibilities, things will go well when you, like Daniel, may walk humbly before God. That will evidence itself in your faithfulness and closeness in prayer. If we may carry out our divine calling in this way, then we, with God’s help, will be able to maintain our family honorably.

To maintain faithfully

All this means that, despite the weariness that accompanies his work, the husband must, first of all, labor diligently and faithfully for his wife whom he faithfully promised to maintain at the time of the confirmation of the marriage (line 100). In the second place, the husband must labor for his family (lines 61-62), and in the third place, for the poor (line 63). His earnings then are for both of them—for the family and for those suffering in poverty. This is a biblical way of self-development whereby your own needs are automatically satisfied as well. If you may do your work in such a manner, then on the one hand, it gives satisfaction while, on the other hand, it adds substance and meaning to your divine calling. We must regularly ask ourselves if our daily activities match this fitting description of “a divine calling.” No matter how simple our work may be, it is not impossible for the Lord to grant us that we might be serviceable to Him and to our neighbor.

Working wives

The present context automatically brings us to the subject of working wives. In our society we see a definite development of increasing pressure for the wives to work outside of the home on an almost daily basis. The labor market calls for working wives; the government encourages it, and family spending habits often demand it more and more. We could keep going on in this vein, but in any event it is becoming increasingly difficult to make family life our first priority.

If we make the decision to function as a mother in our family, this will probably require some sacrifices. We can already see this happening around us. Still, those sacrifices are not the most important. The blessings associated with working within the family are so great that all the luxuries and extras we have to give up pale in comparison to it.

It this case, also, it is important to know clearly God’s will and way for our life. Let us pray often that we may discern the spirit of the times and that the Lord will make us to walk in the way of His Word.

Counsel from the form

Without desiring to rule over each other’s consciences, let us list several matters which will give direction and mold the conscience. The intention of the bride to keep on working after her marriage is not a problem in and of itself. We do, however, want to make several observations based on our form:

a. The husband explicitly promises to labor diligently and faithfully for his wife and children in the calling wherein God has placed him (lines 60-63); he promises his wife to faithfully maintain her (line 100). The family income is and remains the primary responsibility of the husband; worldly luxuries should not be a motivating factor.

b. The wife explicitly promises that she will serve and assist the husband (lines 109-110). In the remainder of this book we will hear that she will help him in all lawful things and look after her family (lines 64-67). There is, therefore, a clear delineation of responsibilities.

c. Both promise to live holily with each other (lines 101-111). This means that, in principal, we are open to the blessing of children. We may not forget that the third reason for marriage is to live with a good and quiet conscience (lines 40-41). Let us, then, keep our consciences pure. Quiet consciences cannot be bought, no matter how attractive the wife’s salary might be.

Counsel from the Bible

In addition to the comments from the form, it will be good to point to the biblical foundation as to the value of marriage and family life:

d. In our restless times, it is very important to understand the function of family life and the need, if it should prove to be necessary, for both spouses to make sacrifices. We must watch that we are not dragged along with the materialistic and individualistic spirit of the times.

e. If the Lord entrusts children to our care, there is a compelling need to provide safety and care for them within the family. Love and attention will not spoil a child, and that is certainly true in our times. Bear in mind that if someone else has raised your children, you cannot do it over.

There is more to nurturing children than just nutrition. A child’s upbringing begins very early. Can one imagine a more beautiful task? Take the time to enjoy it! Do not let your child’s early years slip through your fingers like sand. The twenty years (or fewer) that you may be given to care for your child or children will go by very quickly. That is why you need to cherish them. Our mothers should not be drawn away from the family as if it is an inferior task, and the fathers must not neglect their responsibility for their upbringing. In the order of Creation, we were given a father and a mother; therefore, we need both of them. How painful it is when we must miss one of the two. That is the reason that you should not hand over the upbringing of your children to others.

Paid and unpaid

If you both agree with the points made above, then I would not (as a matter of principle) condemn some work outside of the home. For example, you may be asked if there is a possibility for you to do something “extra.” Just be careful that such tasks do not make you too busy. Extra work can be upsetting to a quiet family life, and it significantly increases the danger that you lose contact with each other. In theory some extra work may not seem so bad; however, practice makes it clear that we imperceptibly get dragged along with the maelstrom. Both of you need to be alert to this danger. Let motherhood always be the mother’s primary task, no matter how urgent the need in the fields of healthcare and teaching may be.

Thus far, we have discussed only “paid positions.” There are, however, countless unpaid opportunities. You could, for example, work as a volunteer in the health care sector. You could undertake a specific task within the church community. Once you start looking around, you will find more work for volunteers than you think. There are all types of needy persons. When you devote your energy to volunteer work, the seductive idol of money will definitely play a smaller role.

In all godliness

Let us return to the form. What is it that we promise each other? Are you willing thus to behave yourselves in this holy state, as you here do confess before this Christian assembly? (lines 80-82). You have both answered “yes” to that question. Then let your “yes” indeed be your “yes.” The husband then will labor diligently in his divine calling in order to maintain his wife (and family, if the Lord gives one), and there will also be a caring eye for our neighbor. The wife’s first desire will be to assist her husband and to pay good attention to her household. In respect to the dividing of the tasks and responsibilities which need to be done, husband and wife must act according as the form so simply and scripturally teaches us. May God grant that this will become your upright desire. In this regard we sincerely offer this prayer for you: “The Lord our God replenish you with His grace, and grant that you may long live together in all godliness and holiness” (lines 169-170). p

(To be continued)

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