Peer Pressure

David prays in Psalm 86:11, “Teach me Thy way, O Lord; I will walk in Thy truth: unite my heart to fear Thy Name.”

That prayer is necessary for all of us. Every day we are called to make decisions in our family life. That is true for fathers in their work outside of the home, and for mothers inside the home, and for children. Every day, more or less, we must make important decisions. The main question of this article is: What rule do we follow in making our decisions?

Do we live as others? Do we live as everyone else does; or is God’s Word the rule of our lives? That is a very important question. Moreover, in the Bible we cannot always find clear-cut answers to the complicated circumstances of today. The main question is: Out of which principle of life do we seek our answers? In other words, — is our life a praying life?

At the beginning of every day we must pray with David, “Teach me Thy way, O Lord; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to the fear of Thy Name.” We find the same prayer of David in Psalm 25: “Show me Thy ways, O Lord; teach me Thy paths.” In verse 15 David says, “My eyes are ever toward the Lord.” He also knows that God’s goodness is great; He will teach sinners the way. Hence we may not go our own way and make decisions as we choose. We did that already in Paradise. Adam and Eve fled from the presence of the Lord.

It must be or become our habit to call upon the Name of the Lord together with our family before we go to our daily work which awaits us. That is not always possible because perhaps Father must go to work very early in the morning. But then it is the duty of the Mother to pray with the children before they go to school and in her own words — “Teach us Thy ways, O Lord.” In Psalm 5:3,4 David says, “My voice shalt Thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto Thee, and will look up. For Thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee.”

We must realize that we live in a wicked world, and also that our heart is inclined to all evil. We cannot trust ourselves; therefore, this prayer is necessary: “Teach me Thy will, O Lord.”

How do you respond when your friends shout, “Let’s go here or there,” or “Let’s do this or that”… but God whispers, “Don’t go” or “Don’t do it”? Peer pressure — following the crowd — we’ve all done it. A deep need for acceptance among our peers surges through our being. We want to belong to someone or something. Hence we go out of our way to talk, dress, or act like those with whom we wish to associate. This need for acceptance makes us vulnerable to the influence of others.

The more desire we have for God the less we shall have for the world.

Peer pressure can open the door to blind conformity or to a rich relationship. Which door would you choose for your family life?

Peer pressure — what does it mean? The word “peer” actually means a person’s equal. Peer pressure is the influence one has on another who is one’s equal. This influence plays a large part in how we think or what we do. Often this pressure comes from people in our own age group; hence, our peers.

Who are our friends — as families, as parents, as children? Each of us likes to think we make up our own minds. What really happens is that we don’t want to be different; hence, we feel the pressure to conform to those around us. But seeking to conform can lead us to do things we know are wrong. Though they are sometimes hard to distinguish, new ideas, new friends, new fashions, and new fads influence our lives to a great extent. People want to wear “in” clothes, listen to “in” music, drive “in” cars, and be seen at “in” places.

Peer pressure is not a new problem for individuals, families, or groups. The Israelites, God’s people, whose story is told in the Old Testament, wanted to be like the other nations. In spite of God’s commands, warnings, and love, they imitated the sinful behavior of the nations round about them. From choosing a king to practicing idolatry, Israel gave in to pressure.

Today also we feel pressure to be like the world and to do as the world does. Is it not necessary to pray every morning, “O Lord, teach me Thy way: I will walk in Thy truth”? General usage does not excuse bad practice. The broad way is never better or safer even though it is well-worn and crowded. We must enquire what we ought to do, not what the majority does because we will be judged by Jesus Christ, not by our fellowmen.

God’s Word gives us this direction and warning, “Be ye not conformed to the world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” What is God’s Word telling us here? Be not conformed to this world; do not talk or act like this world; be not fashioned after this world. Paul warns his readers not to follow their own way of life, nor the fashions of this world; both are false and fleeting. 1 Corinthians 7:31 says, “The fashion of this world passeth away.”

What must we understand by “this world”? The word “cosmos” is not used but “ayon,” which means age. It does not mean the beautiful world of nature, nor the world of intellect, nor the world of commerce. Jesus is witness that He recognized the great and beautiful world of nature; He spoke of ravens, lilies, cornfields, animals, houses, etc. The Creator saw His creation and it was good. All of us have a place to live and to work. We are all passing through this world to our eternal destination. The Lord gave us as a family a place in this present world.

But what then is meant by “this world”? This world here means the godless world; the godless, wicked people — religious or irreligious — who worship the spirit of the time. Satan is their head; he is called the prince of this world. The unbelieving, unchristian population is called the children of this world. It is a world of human society, idolatry, sensuality, cruelty, skepticism, and despair; it is a world without God, living according to the lust of the flesh. It is the world of which we read in Genesis 6:11,12, “The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.” It is the self-seeking and self-pleasing world.

We read in Exodus 23:2, “Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil.”

This is a warning against peer pressure. A life devoted to selfish pleasure is a worldly life. A life or a day that begins without God is a worldly life.

And many people live that way, also among us, just because others do the same thing. The ambition of many families, parents, and young people is to be as much like the world as possible. When Israel came in contact with the heathen nations, she began to imitate them and to conform to their customs. The results were disastrous for their nation, their families, and their relation to God.

The more desire we have for God the less we shall have for the world. Likeness to God will exclude the likeness to this world. God’s Word admonishes us: “Love not the world.”

We need a new nature, new affections, new principles, new desires, new associations. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. This transformation will affect your whole life; it will affect your choice of companions, your amusements. The question will not be, “Will they be pleasant for me?” but, “Are they pleasing to God?” The question will not be, —”May I?” but, “Should I?” — not, “Is there any harm in it?” but —

“Is there any good in it for God and for His service?” The true Christian will not say, “What will my friend say or do?” but, “What does God want me to do? Will He approve?” The conduct of others may not be our standard, but only the will of God.

Worldliness consists essentially in making the fashion of this world our standard for life. We must discover for ourselves and for our family, what God’s will is, for that only is good, acceptable, and perfect.

Peer pressure can be bad or good. In John 5:30 Jesus said: “I seek not mine own will, but the will of My Father which hath sent Me.” Jesus calls us to follow Him and to turn away from this world. “Teach me Thy way, O Lord; I will walk in Thy truth: unite my heart to the fear of Thy Name.”

Rev. H. Hofman is pastor of the Netherlands Reformed Congregation of Sioux Center, Iowa.

Deze tekst is geautomatiseerd gemaakt en kan nog fouten bevatten. Digibron werkt voortdurend aan correctie. Klik voor het origineel door naar de pdf. Voor opmerkingen, vragen, informatie: contact.

Op Digibron -en alle daarin opgenomen content- is het databankrecht van toepassing. Gebruiksvoorwaarden. Data protection law applies to Digibron and the content of this database. Terms of use.

Printen