Backbiting and Judging Unheard

Read the Heidelberg Catechism, Q. 112

The Catechism adds: “that I be no backbiter, nor slanderer.” The difference between a slanderer and a backbiter is minimal. A slanderer is one who openly and intentionally seeks to judge someone else negatively. A backbiter is more secretive, subtle, and usually more dangerous. He is kind to your face, but destructive when you turn your back.

Backbiting and slandering bear the opposite fruits of love. Love thinks, hopes, and speaks the best of another (1 Cor. 13:4-7). Backbiting and slandering imagine, suspect, and speak the worst of another.

Is there anyone — perhaps a peer at school or work — that you are presently backbiting? If so, for your own soul’s sake, stop this grievous sin immediately. Pray for strength to approach that person, and especially God, for forgiveness.

If you are being slandered, your best defenses are prayer and a clean conscience. Honesty in all our dealings is vital to peace of conscience. Lying destroys peace. Strive to maintain a conscience void of offense toward God and others (Acts 24:16).

The Catechism continues: “that I do not judge, nor join in condemning any man rashly, or unheard.” This too is lying. We bear false witness if we participate in conversation with those who are backbiting others who are not present. How often truth is perverted when rumors are passed on without being proven! Did you know that most rumors do not represent the whole truth? Are we not often guilty of judging others before we have heard their side of the issue or event being discussed? Particularly in counseling, we have experienced frequently that there are three sides to a story — “your” side, “my” side, and the “right” side! No wonder Solomon said, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him” (Prov. 18:13).

How many times have you stood in a group of peers where one was degrading another who was not present? Perhaps you have not appreciated this and simply remained silent. Did you ever realize that by your silence you were implying agreement with the accusations made?

God’s people often experience that they are guilty when they speak and when they remain silent. Pray for wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent. Never be ashamed to speak up for the accused, the despised, and the ridiculed among your peers. Pray for strength to treat others as you want them to treat you.

— JRB

Scripture Reading: Proverbs 18:6-19

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