When the Commandment Came

Not everyone's conversion resembles Paul's. He became blind and could not eat nor drink for three days. Such a conversion is exceptional. There are also conversions like those of King Joash and of Timothy, both of whom served the Lord from their youth and did not have such dramatic experiences as Paul did. There are definitely differences among conversions. Yet we may not overemphasize such differences, because in some respects all conversions resemble that of Paul. Paul's faith does not differ fundamentally from that of other children of God. All of them begin to serve the same God and have the same Spirit working within them. All begin to respect the same law, all have a similar hunger for God, and all feel the need for grace. In his letters the apostle Paul—driven by God's Holy Spirit— writes things concerning his conversion which not only some, but all, of God's children experience. There are, so to speak, intersections that each and every child of God crosses. I think for example of “For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died” (Romans 7:9).

Does Paul write here about the work of God in the hearts of all His children? Yes, if we read this chapter attentively, we find that he writes in general terms concerning the experiences of the entire church. It is incorrect to conclude that these experiences of faith occur only in some of the believers.

Died

In the past Paul had lived without the law. Paul was an expert in the legislation of the Old Testament and lived exactly according to the laws of the Pharisees, but he did not understand the spiritual contents of the law, did not understand what sin was, and did not think himself to be a sinner. Therefore it is true what he stated regarding himself: He lived without the law until the “commandment came.” Then the Lord showed him who God was and who he himself was, and then sin became “alive.” He had tried to hide sin, but God exposed it. Paul “died” because of this. He could not possibly find life in his soul anymore, and sin made him die. That is a strong expression! Paul did not write that he felt somewhat sorry or that he had to offer an apology. The apostle came to stand before God with empty hands, and in this way all God's children become bogged down in their self-righteousnesses. Then they feel it is a lost case from their side. “I have died,” Paul writes. In order really to live by grace, we must give up all hope of being saved by the law. The Lord God completely empties in order to fill with His grace.

How profoundly?

How much knowledge of misery do we need? As much as is necessary to bring us to the feet of Christ. We do not need to be uncovered any more than that! The law must beat us as hard as is needed to bring us where we see ourselves to be in the middle of death, and then we seek our salvation without ourselves in Jesus Christ. If we have been brought there, the knowledge of our misery suffices. We do not have to come lower than at the feet of Christ. Therefore even if we perhaps already have some courage and have heard some beautiful sermons, we must still truly believe in Christ. Perhaps there were times when we became somewhat desperate or have experienced feelings of great panic and distress, and a desire to flee to a safe place; yet the question is, Where has this brought us, and how has the matter been solved? Did it lead to Christ?

John Calvin does not say it differently from Paul. He had learned the same conversion, although it was not as dramatic as that of Luther. Here are some of his statements:

• None are admitted to participation of the blessings of God, but those who are pining away with a sense of their own poverty.

• The very beginning of repentance is grief feit on account of sin, together with self-condemnation.

• Without hatred of sin and remorse for transgression, no man will taste the grace of God.

• God does not forgive the sins of any but those who are dissatisfied with themselves.

• The law is nothing else but a preparation unto the gospel.

• The faithful cannot profit from the gospel until they shall be first humbled, which cannot be until they come to a knowledge of their sins.

• Christ is promised only to those who are humbled, and confounded with a sense of their own sins.

The interested reader may wish to read his Institutes, Book 3, chapter 12, paragraphs 5 and 6.

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